MCAG is Radical and Revolutionary… you may be surprised by what you read here. And if you haven’t read the main series of articles on the MCAG site, you should probably do that first.

My previous post discussed how people in a naked culture grow up around the unclothed body with a normalized perspective, never learning to view the body pornographically. Can experiences of such cultures help us in porn-proofing our children?

You Can Stop the Cycle

A frequent concern raised in emails sent to us by fathers with porn problems and by mothers married to porn addicts is how they can help keep their children from succumbing to the strong pornographic mindset saturating our culture. There’s a very effective answer: stop promoting a pornographic view of the body in the home. It must be rejected by precept and example.

At their level of understanding, children should be taught the principles given on the MCAG website. They need to learn the truth of body acceptance long before they reach their teens.

You Have to Live It

But demonstration of body acceptance is more powerful than explanation. Children cannot be porn-proofed if a porno-prudish view of the body is continually reinforced in the home by how we act, even if the mindset is mentally and verbally renounced. Parents can pass on a true family legacy of body acceptance only if they practice it. In other words, nudity at home should be routinely seen without ever being treated as obscene.

For most American families, the practical living out of body acceptance would mean courageously reversing old prudish habits, establishing new body-friendly customs, and inventing creative opportunities for ordinary nakedness to teach its crucially needed lessons. Some new of these might be:

  • Adopting the age-old, healthy habit of sleeping in the nude,
  • Never shutting bedroom doors for dressing or undressing
  • Celebrating a relaxed “birth-day suit breakfast” on the weekends
  • Keeping bathroom doors open for sink or toilet access while tub or shower is in use
  • Investing in a Hot Tub for no-swimsuit family fellowship
  • Building a backyard enclosure for full-body family sunbathing

Practical changes like these are powerful when body acceptance is simultaneously taught as a moral standard. But to insure that this healthy understanding works at a social level—not just in the home—children must be shown that nudity beyond that of parents and siblings can also be decent and nonsexual. It might mean sharing that new Jacuzzi or backyard sunbathing enclosure with relatives or like-minded friends who are also trying to raise porn-proofed children.

As radical as that last suggestion may sound, it is therapeutically realistic. In the context of such social realism, fathers fighting porn or mothers struggling with poor body image often gain as much healing from past thought-patterns as their children find reinforcement for a wholesome view of everybody’s body. Beyond-the-family nudity won’t be intimidating if home nudity is already a comfortable routine.

Instill Body Acceptance

A picture is worth a thousand words, but words are still important. The family practices mentioned above can quickly kill body shame and instill body acceptance. But open verbal communication is just as essential in porn-proofing children as open visual illustration. Children will be strong in behavior only when strong in understanding. Still living in a world where the body is toxically sexualized, they will be bombarded with sex-obsessed messages in the media and confronted by people indoctrinated by them. When questions arise, parents must be prayerfully open and ready to discuss the truth and its implications. Body acceptance is a holy way of seeing that is stronger than the cultural falsehood of body shame. Only by keeping children grounded in the truth about the body can they walk in freedom from the lie of porn.

Pastor David L. Hatton

4 Responses to Porn-Proof Your Children – Part 2

  • So if there is a family friendly resort nearby where the atmosphere is non-sexual, would you recommend taking the family there? Or perhaps a family friendly beach that is clothing optional? This sounds wonderfully healthy, as does the whole #freethenipple campaign that advocates for body equality by promoting toplessness for both sexes.
    These two blog posts were very enlightening.

  • I really appreciate a lot of the things mentioned on this website. I think you are definitely on to something here. However, it was brought to my attention that if nudity is not shameful or private, and masturbation is not shameful or sexual, and sex between spouses is not shameful, but is rather the ultimate physical display of the plurality and unity of the trinity; then why not encourage masturbation and marital relations to be done in front of our children as well? There seems to be no command in the Bible against either of these. Even public sex in the Bible was only seen as wrong when it combined with temple worship or prostitution. And if there is no inherent wrong or shame in any of these things, can we publicly practice them ethically when our culture and laws say all three are illegal? I would greatly appreciate your thoughts.

    • Heellooo, Anybody there? A response to “Caroline Wright on March 4, 2018 at 12:05 am” would be helpful.

      Dad’s big sex talk was about women’s breast’s being nothing more than bags of skin filled with fat and not being any thing of sexual interest 😉

    • Caroline,

      I’m very sorry for not seeing or replying to your question. Another reader saw your comment and brought it to our attention as unanswered!

      So… let me see if I can offer some comments on your question… although I would hesitate to claim any “authority” in my answer beyond my own efforts to understand the Scriptures and to reason accurately in view of our culture and personal experience.

      Let me start by saying this…

      Regarding the natural state of our bodies, there is a LOT of benefit to children when they are taught the naturalness of the unclad human form, and that it is not shameful to see or be seen. It is very good for them to learn the counter-cultural truth that the simple sight of an unclothed person is not a “sexual experience”… that it is not intended by God to be the “trigger” that ignites sexual passions. So, for this reason, it is very wise for parents to note that the Bible does not command clothing for “propriety” or “modesty” and make sure they don’t teach the sexualized view of the body inadvertently in their home by requiring clothing at all times or presuming the same sexual response that our culture teaches and practices.

      But what about actual sexual activities? You are correct in noting that the Bible doesn’t forbid coitus in the presence of others any more than it forbids nudity. This is certainly understandable when you consider that the OT Law was given during a time when ALL families lived together in tents… and Mom & Dad did NOT have their own locked and sound-proof “tent-room” inside the family tent. Pretty much, everyone slept on the ground inside the tent. And the Israelites were fully expected by God to “multiply.” So… marital coitus must have happened a LOT in close proximity to the rest of the kids (and grandparents?) that lived in the same tent. I would suppose that it was a “That’s-something-Mom-and-Dad-do-a-lot…Just-ignore-them.” sort of thing. God was more interested in there being more kids than he was from shielding kids from knowing what their parents did to make them.

      That said, we don’t know what the actual practice was… only after the kids were asleep? Only under covers? Regardless, it would seem that it would be nigh on impossible in those days to completely hide the fact of marital union happening with some regularity. You’d probably hear it happening even from nearby neighbors’ tents.

      But… what does that mean for us today? Well, here I can only give my opinion…

      I would suggest that young children are not ready for any sort of “sexual experience.” And while I believe it’s a good thing to be very matter-of-fact about the mechanics of sexual union even while children are very young (and the fact that, “Yes, Mommy and Daddy still do this.”), actually watching sex performed is likely a lot more “sexual experience” than they are ready for… particularly in a culture where it is otherwise so hidden. Furthermore, unlike our view of our bodies, there’s not a pervading false view about sexual union that can be corrected by nonchalant exposure to sexual activity… in other words, open sex would not combat any of the cultural lies about sex that have invaded our minds and our homes. Consequently, there’s no real strategic benefit from open sex, and it would more likely play into the “pornographic” mentality that we actively trying to combat in our lives and homes.

      And then there’s the legal angle.

      I don’t believe that we should feel and obligation to follow laws that reach beyond the scope of the Government’s true bounds, but only if we need to do so to uphold our own convictions about what is true and right. In this case, while I would defend and encourage openness about the unclad body in the home (even if the government wrongly forbade it), I could not defend open sexual activity in the home or in public.

      But… all this does mean that we do not need to be embarrassed about talking with our kids openly about sex. We don’t need to make sure they never know what Mom & Dad do in bed. And we don’t even need to be all embarrassed and concerned if our kids happen to “walk in on us.”

      One man’s thoughts… hopefully you’ll find them reasonable and helpful.

      David Martin

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